1 Let me know in your
next about the date of the
races and if it is later
than the 3rd April please
let me come down next
Saturday. Will write you
again tomorrow. I send
you my warmest and
dearest love. Your ever loving
James National Health Commission (Ireland),
Pembroke House,
Upper Mount Street,
Dublin. 21/3/1916 My dearest and best, I feel horribly sick with myself because of having disappointed you this morning. I had firmly intended writing you a line yesterday just to show you that I think of you always but I never got as much as a minutes respite yesterday. I came in at ten yesterday (which was very early for me) and never lifted my head till 7 yesterday evening. Imagine I never got as much as a minute for dinner and had to snatch a cup of tea about 4 o’clock to help keep me going. I have had more than a few pretty hard days in this department since I joined it but I can honestly say I never had one a bit worse than yesterday. Don’t think I’m telling you all this mainly in order to “throw flowers at myself” or to enlist your sympathy (though that is always a pleasure to me) but I want to show you that it wasn’t my fault that I failed you yesterday. I have been very hard run the last few days. Sunday night I was up till at work. I bought it home on Saturday and of course left it on the long finger till Sunday evening. Last night I went to confession and got rid of a load of trouble with the result that both last night and Sunday night my mind was a bit too active going to bed for sleep with the inevitable result that I got on to the usual topic- yourself- and didn’t get to sleep till all hours. However my sleep was very pleasant both nights. I imagine sometimes that you are watching over me at night and that your prayers and your sweet spirit keep and sustain me. Indeed just to show you that I think it’s true I’ll let you into a little secret of my confession. The priest in Clarendon Street (you remember we were in it one Sunday together at Mass 2 told me that he thought there was somebody praying for me. I suppose he was surprised that such a bad egg would ever otherwise have the courage to go to confession. So I think
you’re going to be my guardian angel for I’m sure the poor chap that got that thankless
job when I was born has given up on me in despair long ago. I was delighted to get your letter this morning and especially with the contents.
The lock of hair is going with the other treasures. As regards the photo I’m sure I can’t
imagine who the very plain looking girl with the baby is. I don’t think I could have
ever seen her anyway. The poor thing will be quite offended if she hears that you
have been sending her photo all round the country for strange men to make remarks
about her (bow-wow). I’ll keep the photo anyhow for a few days and will give
it back to you (if you want it) when I see you. Perhaps by that time I will
have discovered the identity of the lady!! As regards going down to see you
I’d prefer next Saturday to any other because for one thing it would break the
miserable wait till Easter more evenly than going later on but if you want to
go to the races I could defer it till then or preferably I could go down then also.
But if the races are on the 10th or 17th April I’d rather go now. I wouldn’t
mind deferring my visit till the 3rd April if the races were then but if they are
later I want to go now. For one thing I want to see you so much and for
another I’m a bit cleaner in spirit than the last time I saw you and could
look you in the face and kiss you with less compunction than on my previous
visit. The concert was a huge success as I told you. The Miss O’Connor who played
the harp was not one of the O’Connors you met. We must go and hear the harp
played some time a good player is performing. She wasn’t much so you didn’t miss
a lot. About Killarney I don’t care one way or another and the same as regards the
day” Thursday for losses” doesn’t bother me. I’d face anything with you by my side,
my darling girl, and the only thing I shouldn’t like is “no day at all” .Will you