1 and what I long for
every hour and every
minute almost. Do you know
you are the last thought at
night and the first in
the morning? Well it's true
anyhow whether you suspect
it or not. I have no news
at all this time so I will
close up with the warmest love
and devotion to my dearest girl from
her ever faithful and loving
James 39 Belgrave Square,
Rathmines,
Dublin. 19th March, 1916. My dearest May, You have sent me many
letters that I rejoiced at but none was
half so good as your dear letter of this
morning. I have been thinking and wondering
about it ever since and the more I think the
more I fail to understand what in God’s
name ever put a thought of me in your
sweet mind. Recently I have been comforting
myself with the thought that you did
like me a good deal but I never suspected
that you had such hidden depths of
affection as the incident of the rose reveals.
Good Lord! when I think what a fellow I am 2 and have been, I feel like the dirt
when I have to imagine it possible that a
girl like you that a prize such as you are
could ever love me. I remember the roses you
wore that day very well as I remember your
dress and everything you said and did but I
have only a very faint recollection of having picked
up the rose for you. Probably I did it mechanically
as an act of politeness without thinking there was
any special significance in it. If you had given
me the rose instead of my restoring it to you, I
could have remembered it forever. The clearest
thing I remember about the whole day is that I
was furiously jealous of Ray (the best man) all
day especially as you laughed and joked with him.
I remember thinking that it was only natural you
should prefer a man younger and better looking
than me and I half made up my mind there
and then to throw up the prize. That was while we were up the hill. Later on when we
were playing the cards you sat beside me and I
plucked up a bit of spirits again but on the whole
thinking over the whole day’s events afterwards
I was inclined to think my chances were very
poor. One or two little things that happened
during my holidays in August gave me hope,
once or twice you allowed your hand to remain
in mine when we shook hands and more especially
your handshake the day I said goodbye that
time. I was bursting to speak to you then but
I got no chance and I never had so bad a
heartache as leaving you then, not knowing whether
to hope or despair. All that is over and done with
now, thank God, and I need hardly say how I
will cherish your dear sweet gift and mark of
love. You needn’t tell me not to do away with it.
Do you think I’m mad to do such a thing? I
doubt very much if you will ever get it back
again unless you insist on it. Don’t think that
is said as a joke or to flatter you. As I hope for 3 final forgiveness, it is true and I love and
revere my dear and darling all the more if
possible when I know that nearly a year ago
she had already a regard for me. As to
your being a cool customer as you say, I know
very well now from what you tell me that you
are not. I’m glad to hear that you are
thinking of the races. Mrs Seery was asking me
would I come down for them but I said I
wasn’t sure, not thinking that you would
be likely to go. I hope you will go and
maybe you’d think of inviting me too. I know
Mrs S would be only too delighted to give me
lodging for the few days if you wouldn’t be
too hard-hearted to refuse to let me come down. Please
do let me come down to see you then. I’m breaking
my promise already not to speak about coming down
again until you mentioned it so I won’t say
any more now. You know very well what I want